When Chat Magazine asked me to have an honest conversation with them about growing up and the challenges I faced, to help younger girls who may be facing similar challenges, I was more than happy to share my story. Written in the style of a letter – have a read of my letter to girls who look like me.
Read the full article below:
Have you ever looked around and felt like you don’t belong?
On my first day of school, aged 5, I was alone in a sea of white faces. No one looked like me. Brown hair, eyes and skin. It was the same when I turned on TV, or looked at billboards where beautiful Caucasian women advertised make-up or perfume.
Born in Britain to an Indian family, I struggled to feel like I fit in. Not Indian enough because I hadn’t been born or raised there. But not British, either. I felt lost. Classmates could be cruel. ‘Poo face,’ one said in the playground one day. My parents dried my tears later, but that was just the start of the racist taunts.
In 1994, when I was 6, a Bollywood actress won Miss World. The only Indian woman I’d seen on British TV before that was Gita from EastEnders, selling clothes on her market stall. Hardly glam. But Miss World wore a shimmering evening gown, a glittering crown. I realised girls like me could be seen as beautiful. She looks like a princess! In 2000, Priyanka Chopra was crowned Miss World, too. ‘She’s amazing,’ I gasped to my parents as we watched in our living room. They weren’t impressed. Strutting on stage in a swimsuit wasn’t encouraged in our culture, yet I thought it was empowering.
Four years later, in 2004, a talent scout at The Clothes Show event in Birmingham asked if I’d take part in a beauty pageant. I was 16. My parents reluctantly agreed, and standing on stage in a purple evening gown a year later, my legs wobbled with nerves. Being crowned runner-up at Miss England, in front of hundreds of people, was incredible.
My confidence grew the more pageants I did, and my family slowly accepted my path. ‘We can see how happy it makes you,’ Mum beamed when I came second in Miss Universe Asiana 2009. After, I competed in Miss Universe Great Britain. Finally, I felt like I’d found my place in the world, and I’ve won pageants globally since.
Times have changed since my first day at school, yet deep-rooted discrimination and racism still exist today. I had to break down a lot of barriers. So now I campaign for better representation of Asian women in the media. I want all you women and girls like me to feel like you belong. To be accepted without a fuss or a fight.
I’ve been married to Andy, 34, for two years, and I’m preparing to compete in Mrs Galaxy this year. When I think how insecure I once was, I wish someone had told me not to worry that I was different. To be bold, be brave, to know that you are beautiful.
So now I’m telling you.
Love, Aryana